It was an interesting weekend. I had a friend visit on Friday and stay until this morning. She likes her wine, but she’s a normie. (Still amazing to me how people can have a few glasses of wine and not want to stop at the store on the way home for more.)
We went to dinner on Friday night, and she ordered a cucumber martini. She was gracious enough to ask first if it was okay with me. She asked every time which was VERY thoughtful. After her martini (which was really small), she order a glass of wine. Since it was happy hour, I ordered one as well so she could have the happy hour price for a second glass. I smelled the wine. Smelled JUST LIKE WINE! How bizarre, right? lol It didn’t arouse any desires to drink. Thank God. We had our tapas for dinner and enjoyed them all. I drove us home.
Saturday, we played tourist and came home about 5:00pm. Upon driving back home, I stopped at the store to get something to drink – Arnold Palmer’s/Peach Snapple tea. Next door was the liquor store so she went over and got a bottle. We were having steak for dinner, and she asked if it was okay if she had some wine. I was a little nervous but told her sure. She had about 1/2 of the bottle (2 glasses) that night.
Sunday we did the tourist thing again in another town and had a great time at the farmers markets and looking at all the art galleries in the town center. Took forever getting home because of traffic, but we finally made it back at 7:00. I grilled some salmon for dinner, and she finished off her bottle.
So, the reason I’m telling the story of my weekend? That even though the person around you is drinking a beverage you wish you could also enjoy, it is doable. I ‘noticed’ it when she would take her first sip and think “yum”, but then after that I didn’t even pay attention. Yes, I was jealous that she could drink a couple glasses of wine and “walk away” unscathed, but it was all good.
I just passed my 9 month mark and each day is still a huge victory over alcohol for me. Considering I drank alcohol for over 40 years, I should expect it to take a while to not become ‘the norm’ any longer. Each hour, day, week and month that passes makes it that much easier.
I hope those of you reading this, who are still in the early stages, take note that it can be done and it does get easier. Just don’t expect it to happen over night or over week or over month. It’s a whole new learning curve 🙂 And it takes time.
But trust me, YOU CAN DO THIS because you are NOT alone!!
dangling on the edge 
I know how you feel. I love a particular wine that they only have at a local vineyard here in NY. They had a booth set up at the farmers market on Sunday, I encouraged him to get a bottle. He is actually having a glass as I type this. I eyed it up, but feel the same way, it looks great, but I won’t like where it would take me.
Wishful drinking…I know better.
That would be so hard for me. I admire your strength! I only have to deal with others drinking on a very limited basis. If I had to do it more frequently, I honestly don’t know where I would be right now.
I am getting better with it the more time goes by. When I first quit, I would never have imagined that I could sit there while anyone drank wine. Now it doesn’t bother me as much.
Good for you Debbie,I have 40 years of drink to get out of my system too. It feels so good to be free.
Sharon
Yes, yes it does. There are so many positives about not drinking but it’s always just one negative that can throw me for a loop!!
Debbie — You are amazing. You sat by and endured the necessary witness so close and personal. You even had that temptation of the two for one in your grasp, and over and over you walked right through that glass door without a scratch. That definitely has to exemplify some jedi level of self-control and self-awareness. You have truly come so far and it has all been such an important journey–a ticket to travel that had your name on it 40 years ago. You got some wings now!
Debbie, my husband drinks, luckily he gave up wine a few years ago. Him giving up wine is the reason that I have made it to almost 8 months. But, having someone drink around me was tough for the first couple of months. Now I am used to it but have even started to associate the smell of alcohol with displeasure. Since I have been sober, my husband has drank too much several times and I see how dopey he acts. Even more than that I smell the alcohol on his breath and coming out of his body when he sleeps. That is one of the things that has helped me stay on this path, alcohol is some powerful stuff, if your body has to work this hard to rid your body of it, it cannot be that good for you.
I am still scared that I may drink. One if my favorite things to do in the summer is to sit outside on a beautiful summer evening and drink wine. Even though I have urges less and less as time goes on, I definitely have had that urge several times since the summer began. Thank goodness for lemonade and seltzer!
Enjoy the weekend and I am glad that you were able to have a friend over and not drink. I felt the same way when friends drink, watching them take the first sip is tough, after that I forget about it.
Jean
Hi Jean, So true about summer-time evenings. I too enjoyed the relaxed element of sitting outside on a lovely warm night enjoying a beverage 🙂 Ah well. Thanks for sharing!
This is just an all around important post to read. Just because we have sobriety doesn’t mean it doesn’t look good for a nano-second. The challenge for me is moving beyond the first thought. I choose to stay sober, but most of the world drinks. I love how you found the answer. Good read for me. TY
Thanks, Lisa.
Great post. Isn’t it crazy how sometimes this is a big deal and other times it isn’t? I’m at 9 months sober and find this situation more and more unpredictable than ever. My first few months I was so out to prove that I could be strong and handle any situation without losing it, that my actual feelings were buried deep.
It sounds like the fun times you had with your friend will be the big take away memories from the time together. Bravo!
It is unpredictable, isn’t it? Whose to say that on any other day, I might not have been able to handle someone else drinking around me. . . But I did and I will do it again! Thanks for the comment 🙂