belly up to the bar

Closing in on day 600 (next Thurs).  I’ve surpassed my previous milestone of around 550 days or whatever it was before I dove head first back into the drinking pool.  woop woop

Last night I was at Applebee’s for their Monday night 1/2 price burgers, belly up to the bar drinking a deliciously cold glass of water, waiting for my greasy burger and fries to arrive.  When, I saw out of the corner of my eye, the bartender clean up a shot glass from a patron and oh my. . . . .   For a moment, just a split second, my thoughts immediately went to asking the her (bartender) to serve me a shot of . . . whatever – didn’t matter.  I had this temporary feeling of relief, excitement, warmth, yum.  It was going to happen.  I felt it.  I was going to throw it all away again.  Then, poof.  The feeling was gone.  I shook my head (not literally) and thought WTF.  That’s SO not going to happen.  And life goes on.  I must say, though, it was a very scary at the same time really odd, feeling.  Seriously, that all happened in like 0.5 seconds.  How quickly that could have totally turned my life upside down.

Namaste y’all


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4 Responses to belly up to the bar

  1. Yeah, strange isn’t it. I’ve had moments like that. Strange to realise that the ‘rest of my life’ could depend on a split second. And it makes me have doubts about the wide availability of alcohol in this society. :-/
    Congrats on your day 599!! 🙂
    xx, Feeling

  2. I just had one of those, too.
    I think they are normal, but doesn’t make me happy.
    Happy 600 Days!

  3. Paul S says:

    I get those moments too – irrational, overwhelming, and ever so brief. It’s part and parcel of what it is to have this thing we have. The great news is that we swat them away like a fruit fly in our face. Then move on. Just like you did. What I find is that if I give that thought any energy at all, it likes to balloon, so the sooner I swoosh it out, the better. Congrats on your 600 days coming up!!

  4. byebyebeer says:

    I occasionally get those thoughts too in a flash. Little nostalgia and far more relief by the year. Happy day 599 and then some!

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