Not sure I have any life changing words to share or positive anecdotes to move you. Let me re-state – I have NONE of the above. But I do have days where life is good and still alcohol free. There are days when I just want to throw in the towel. I have not found anything, YET, that can replace that space between the first drink and the “before you over do it” drink. That ‘feeling’ . . . you know the one. That place where the you lose some of the noise in your head. That place where it’s ‘happy’. Not the place where you’ve completely over done it and you are sobbing your eyes out over whatever hit a nerve. “Boo hoo, I’m so lonely because I’m so stupid because I’m so ugly and boo hoo because no one thinks I’m good enough because I’m lousy at my job because I’m not funny. . .” Or however your boo hooing goes. I’m talking about that place that makes a sunset just that much more beautiful because you can enjoy it without the monkey chatter.
Did a day of trail maintenance on Saturday (around 5 hrs). I was pretty stiff on Sunday but the muscles are finally easing up a bit today. We were actually creating a new trail. No maintenance involved. Not difficult, per se, as the ground was level, no rocks and such. It was wielding the pick axes and hoes and rakes that aren’t called pick axes, hoes or rakes. Bending over and chopping at grass and weed roots to clear a 4ft to 5 ft wide path for 200 yards. Fortunately, there was a stiff breeze from time to time that helped to cool us down a little. Temps were in the mid to upper 80’s. So, I can check off a good deed done for the summer 🙂
Headed on vacation with my 2 oldest grand kids next week. A must-be-sober event since I am responsible for these two kiddos and the only adult. (Even thought I was “off” the wagon for last year’s vacation with the kids, I was still in the early stages and able to control when I had a drink which was when I was at my sister’s. I think I had a couple of beers on a hot afternoon one day.)
Let’s see, today is (. . . checking calendar. . .) I’m at 138 days. Almost 5 months!! That makes me happy. I definitely prefer to use the term months instead of days! Sounds more impressive – whatever floats my boat, right? 🙂 LOL