Time to make myself accountable. Time to start posting. Time to put what’s going on in my life/brain down on paper (i.e. blog). Time to focus. Time to throw myself back into the world of the living. Time to snap out of it.
I read something the other day on facebook. -When I was 38 I contemplated beginning a two year Associates Degree… I was talking to a friend and had almost talked myself out of doing it. I said “I’m too old to start that. I’ll be 40 when I get my degree.” My friend said “If you don’t do it, you’ll still be 40, but without the degree.”-
So there you have it. Same problem, different scenario. I’m going to be 60 this year. The statement then is, “If I don’t quit drinking, I’ll still be 60, but not sober.” Well, you get the idea.
Unless the stats are wrong on this site, it shows that almost 80 people viewed my blog yesterday. That is crazy. I haven’t written since October. It pushed me to want to get my stuff out there. There are so many of us going through this – truly unbelievable how many alcoholics are out there – I want to help, to share, to get through this, to make a difference for someone in my shoes.
That being said, it was a rough 2015. I was around 530 days sober and on February 18, 2015, I walked into a liquor store and purchased a bottle of wine. I can’t tell you why, I have no idea what propelled me in there. All I remember is that I wanted a drink. And I did just that. I think I had a glass or 2 and thought, “yuck.” A month passed and I had another drink. . . . and the spiral downward began. I started drinking regularly around May. It has not only cost me my brain cells and clarity but also my financial stability. I don’t even want to tell you how much money has been spent on alcohol in only the past 8 months. It’s unbelievable, really.
So, why today am I getting back on board the sobersphere? I have to. That’s it. Today, if I was counting, is day 3. My word for the year is STRENGTH and my mantra on the way home from work is NO.
I look forward to engaging with new (or relatively new) sober bloggers out there this time around. Wish me luck!