18 hour job?

Not like I have lots to say that would interest any one at this stage. But, I see that there are a number of you out there at least checking out my blog from time to time so wanted to get in a few words of wisdom; some take-away’s maybe.

I can’t say that this time around it’s any harder. I just remember it being hard the last time – when it finally stuck. It took around 8 months of lots and lots and LOTS of day one’s. But one day, it held on for one more and then one more continuing for another 1 year and 5 months. Then I had a drink. Not a big deal I thought. Went about 2-3 weeks, then had another drink. Hm, no big deal. Then every couple weeks became once a week, and the once a week became every couple days. Now, there is seldom, if ever, a day between. It took about 6 months to get to that stage. I am now at 7 months UN-sober.

I’m ever so slowly killing myself, but for some reason, it would appear I’m okay with that ?!? I mean – think about it. (I need a mind-cleanse :))

I was at my usual haunt last night. Now, I stop in there maybe 3 times a week, have 2 to 3 drinks and go home. This guy was sitting beside me last night, he’s seen me in there a time or two, and said to me, “You come in here like every night, right?” Holy crap. “NO! Not every night!” I didn’t say that, I politely said, “I do come in a few nights a week, yes” Sure, the bartenders see me all the time, but a random guy? He must also come in every night so he sees me when I do show up. It just hit an alcoholic’s nerve, I guess. Makes me think a bit more. . .

And what struck me was that if I were working at night (yes, like a bartender, but it’s only because I was sitting at the bar), I would not be inclined to want to drink. I mean, seriously, I’d have to keep track of money and credit cards and people and drinks. I can’t do that AND drink. Yes, the stuff is in front of me, but if I’m working and as busy as they are, I wouldn’t want to drink – anything. And I wouldn’t drink before I went in to work, because that would just suck. So, what I need is an 18 hour job that requires my attention or causes me to be busy enough that I can’t have a drink in hand. Yeah, sounds pretty simple to me ๐Ÿ™‚

And the weekend begins. . .

dory

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14 Responses to 18 hour job?

  1. ainsobriety says:

    Think of life as your 24 hour a day job. To live it fully requires being sober.

    You can do it. Just don’t drink today.

  2. What Anne said is very true, life is a job, stay sober. You can do it Debbie!
    Sharon

  3. Debbie when I first quit, I was lucky enough to change my work hours to evenings for the first week, this helped a lot. Then I went to a yoga retreat where there was no alcohol. Those 2 changes in my regular schedule made all the difference. Maybe you can really find something to do in the evenings to keep you away from drinking.
    Also, I have been having a tough time not drinking lately, I have had problems at work and it is making me feel like drinking. Seeing how you went from a casual drink back to almost daily drinking is making me realize I have to get back to thinking about why I drank and why I wanted to quit. It is really a slippery slope.

  4. my journey on staying sober and happy says:

    Loving your honesty. I am in a similar situation with my own non-sobriety

  5. abbiegrrl says:

    Whenever you’re ready, we’re keeping a seat for you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. byebyebeer says:

    Drinking to fill time, kill time, escape what we feel or the way it feels. You’re really on to something with the 18-hour job. When I drank, it wasn’t to feel numb necessarily or to feel better. I just wanted to feel different. The gradual increased drinking sounds like my own experiences after a break or attempts to scale back. My drinking was progressive and undeniable, ultimately easier to take completely off the table though it took a long time for me to get there in retrospect.

    • Debbie says:

      Thanks Kristen! Love the hair, by the way ๐Ÿ™‚ I must just get the drink off the table for good. I drink because I’m bored and lonely. Appreciate your words. Day 4 today ๐Ÿ™‚ xoxo

      • byebyebeer says:

        Day 4, good deal ๐Ÿ˜€ Loneliness and boredom are real feelings, and sobriety (I believe) frees us up to face them. It’s a slow undressing, but they don’t feel as big anymore and never permanent. I forget if you tried meetings, but it’s a built in local support network if nothing else.

  7. jmcraig2014 says:

    Debbie, I don’t know if this is helpful or not to you but, your return to drinking is a cautionary tail to me. I am almost 2 years and I have been tempted recently because of work stress to just have a glass of wine when I get home. I know that I am better just continuing to stay sober.
    What you said about 18 hours has truth for me. When I quit drinking, my schedule changed for one or two weeks and I had to work evenings. So My routine of coming home from work and then drinking and cooking dinner was changed. I then went to a yoga retreat where there was no alcohol. It made all the difference in the first 2 weeks. So a schedule change or something to do where alcohol is not available in the evenings may help you.
    Jean

    • Debbie says:

      So true Jean. Still trying to figure out what I can do to stay busy. Need to remember what I did last time! Although I was living with my daughter, her husband and kids during the first few months last time which keep me accountable and busier! Thanks for always being there.

  8. SC says:

    You’re on to something. When I got a new and job that required me to get up very early to be at work at 4am, or stay up late to work the night shift, my drinking cut back exponentially, just for the reasons you said. Drinking before working a night shift would just suck, and drinking the night before an early morning shift would leave me hurting. And since my job produces tangible, immediate results, there was no hiding a hangover behind spreadsheets or long-term deadlines. I don’t drink at all now, and I’m happy with my choice, but changing up my schedule was a big part of the early days when I was first trying to address the behavior.

    https://termitetunnels.wordpress.com/

    • Debbie says:

      Hi sleepycat – thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚ Nice to know there are others who experience similar stuff! I totally agree, too. If I have to get up early for any reason, I do refrain from drinking (but will hate it!), and the same would hold true if I were to work a night shift. Appreciate the response. Helps me to stay focused!

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