wallowing in my own self pity

No, I’m not doing better.   But I’m not any worse.  I am getting poorer though.   Seriously, I’d forgotten how expensive it is to drink.  Holy crap.   That is a huge motivator though.  I truly cannot afford to drink.  But do I anyway?  Yeah, silly question.

A huge error in judgement on my part has been not staying on top of everyone’s blogs, reading daily and deriving strength, information and positivity from each.  Well, that stops now.  I promise to read them everyday.  It was lovely to see some of my long time blog-pals on my reader.  But I’m thinking there are many more of you out there, and I need to make some new cyber-friends 🙂

Thanks for hanging with me through all this.

afraid to fail

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12 Responses to wallowing in my own self pity

  1. ainsobriety says:

    I don’t think I could have stayed sober if my fear of continuing to drink hadn’t finally become greater than my fear of sobriety.
    I thought I was giving up so much. And all I have done is gained. Health, happiness, freedom and peace.

  2. Lilly says:

    Hello my dear! I just logged in for the first time in so long and saw this and OH NO! I hope you are ok. And big hugs to you. I know you can get back on the wagon, whatever has happened – I clearly have a lot to catch up on.

    So long time I know. I am so sorry I fell off a cliff. I had some crazy things happen in my life at the start of the year and fell off the side of a cliff in terms of blogging and also sobriety. But I haven’t had a drink in 30 days and feel good about getting back into my little sober car.

    Sending you love and strength,

    Lilly x

    • FitFatFood says:

      So great to see this comment and to see the demonstration that we really are all here for each other.

      Sending huge hugs to you both x

    • Debbie says:

      Took me a while, Just saw this! haha Are you still posting? Would love to read what’s been going on with you. Hope you are still on track. I’m still trying to get past day 1. xoxo

    • Debbie says:

      Hey Lilly, Can’t believe I”m just getting around to reading my replies. I’ve missed you. Hope you are still doing well. Is your blog still up? I need to catch up. Thinking of you and trying my best to grab that ‘strength’ you are sending my way. {{hugs}} Debbie

  3. I feel like Anne, I’m so afraid of what would happen if I drank again, can’t stand remembering the misery, that it’s more appealing to me than the thought of a cold Chardonnay . Come on back, Debbie, we’re here for you.

  4. Scarlett says:

    I think you’re an amazing, smart woman Dee. I’m glad we got to spend some time a couple of weeks ago. Keep fighting the good fight to be and do exactly what you want.

  5. jmcraig2014 says:

    Since you are still blogging, you must still be hopeful. Plenty of people fall off and come back. I had numerous 10 day stretches and I even managed to not drink for 4 months. After that it was 18 months of a few days here a week here, but not the freedom from alcohol that I craved, but finally one day it worked, it worked the day after that and the day after that, it is still working. Recently Jean from “Unpickled” wrote about what she did different on those first few days and many people replied to the post. It was very inspiring to read people’s replies. Debbie, I hope you see your drinking as just a set back and that you move forward with not drinking. I know from reading your posts that you didn’t always “love” not drinking, you sometimes really yearned for drinking and the feeling that it brought to you. Now on the days that you drink, is it as blissful as you remembered it? I must admit, in certain social situations, I would love to have a glass of wine, maybe 2. But really, looking at the big picture, I am much happier not drinking.
    So Debbie, I hope you come back!

  6. Lisa Neumann says:

    Oh man … I am just getting to reading blogs this morning. Sending over some love and a big hug. This “old” cyber friend is still here. (Busy, but still here.)

    Whenever I get stuck I remember that I am here to live. Focus on what you’re living for, not what you’re letting go of. Hugs darling, so glad you posted. xox Lisa

  7. jmcraig2014 says:

    Hi Debbie, so what’s up? Just thinking about you. Hope you are well

  8. xnavygal9916 says:

    Whenever you feel like quitting, remember why you started.

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