Un-frickin’ believable. It’s been almost a month since my last post. I’ve not gone that long without writing since I started this blog! Craziness. It’s not like things are all good and I’m cured or anything. I have the “fuck its” all the damn time but remind myself of all the reasons I don’t want follow through. It seems to work since I still haven’t had a drink. My reasons, you ask? You hoping for a good reason for yourself? Wish I had the magic word to dispel the desire, but alas, I do not. My reasons are the same as everyone else’s and the same as they’ve always been:
1) The momentary “numb” may be great, but I don’t want to wake up feeling crappy. Maybe not hungover, but you know that feeling – headache-y, thirsty, tired
2) I have 400 days under my belt, do I really want to sabotage that?
3) If I have a drink, I know myself too well. I will be back in the thick of it in no time at all and do not want to go through days 1-90 ever again.
4) I change my focus to something I can do right now. Most of the time, the craving hits at witching hour (4pm) so I know that all I have to do is get home and eat.
Just these few reminders help. They don’t take away the desire or the “need” I feel, but they put my brain back in focus. And that’s huge because within 30 minutes or so, I’m okay again – temporarily 🙂
There are still many things I need to do that I haven’t worked on very hard. One of those things is being grateful and thankful each day. Another, is I need to get out of my head sometimes and remember to help others. Those are just 2 but I need to start somewhere, right!!