another day

Another day, another . . . . day sober 🙂 I have no news to report. I just felt I needed to write. I get new followers all the time and feel that they are looking for answers, for help, for an “aha”, or just plain want confirmation that they are not alone. I want to be there for everyone. I want all to know that booze really sucks the life out of you and it’s bad news. You know this, right? And until you can get to the point where you just can’t take it any longer, you can talk yourself blue in the face with what you know but are unable to act upon. That is okay. Most all of us begin our sober journey many times over until it finally sticks. Until you finally read a sober blog that just resonates with you. Until you finally know in your heart and mind that this cannot go on. You understand that voice in your head (wolfie) is NOT you. It is that voice which tries to convince you one drink is okay. That you deserve it, that you need it, that you MUST have it to get through whatever. Knowing it’s there, knowing that you are not a bad person, knowing it can be controlled is more than half the battle. Sure, it’s hard but remember, it’s the alcohol talking. You are not weak nor are you stupid. You know what’s going on. It’s just a matter of being ready to deal with it and conquer it. And everyone does it a different way.

I’ve said it many times before. . . . I still want a drink. I still want to be able to drink. But I can’t — EVER. Knowing that people can go 5 years, 10 years, 25 years and make that one small but HUGE mistake of thinking they can have a drink. It’s always there and we always have to be aware that it’s there. Yeah, sucks to be us. But it is what it is.

I am and always will find ways to overcome. The longer I’m sober, the more reasons I have to remain sober. I may have the alcohol “gene” but I believe I was the one who activated it by starting my drinking career at a very young age. It’s odd, because I knew that if I did drugs, like coke or heroin or something, I would become addicted to them. I knew myself – even back when I was 15 years old. I knew I couldn’t handle doing drugs, so I never even considered doing them. I wasn’t afraid of the drug itself, I was afraid I would become an addict. Yet, I did not know that alcohol was already doing to me what the drugs would have. So aware, yet so naive.

But, here I am today – closing in on 58 years – and sober.

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18 Responses to another day

  1. leilliarose says:

    Thank you thank you so much for this post. Everything here resonates with me. And a bunch of it, I have said myself. It gives me hope to know that people can be sober for so long. It still terrifies me, though. I’m in the stage where I’m seriously battling with Wolfie, and I sometimes don’t know if I’m strong enough to beat it. But, like you said, “booze really sucks the life out of you and it’s bad news.” I agree. I just have to remember this… when Wolfie is right there, those thoughts/realities about alcohol seem to disappear. Thank you for the reminder. I hope I can remember.

    • Debbie says:

      Thanks for reading! It is terrifying so I hope you have friends and family you can count on to be there for you 🙂 You are strong enough – remember that! I’m here if you need me!

  2. greg w says:

    Reblogged this on club east: indianapolis and commented:
    Debbie at Dangling on the Edge flat out rocks with this awesome post about another day sober.

    You understand that voice in your head (wolfie) is NOT you. It is that voice which tries to convince you one drink is okay. That you deserve it, that you need it, that you MUST have it to get through whatever. Knowing it’s there, knowing that you are not a bad person, knowing it can be controlled is more than half the battle. Sure, it’s hard but remember, it’s the alcohol talking. You are not weak nor are you stupid. You know what’s going on. It’s just a matter of being ready to deal with it and conquer it.

    Go read the whole thing. Now.

  3. Pingback: another day | club east: indianapolis

  4. sillymelove says:

    Thanks for the post! You’re right, I knew I needed to stop, and the 100 day challenge I took on has helped me stay focus and determined I’m at day 28 right now… I hope that WHEN I reach the 100 days that it’ll be instilled in my head and heart that I don’t need to drink. taking 1 day at a time!

    • Debbie says:

      I did the 100 day challenge as well. I am number 50 something on Belle’s list! So long ago. But her challenge really helped me as did her helpful words, her emails, and reminders to give myself treats. You can do this. Congratulations on day 28. That really is amazing! Truly 🙂

    • Running From the Booze says:

      Hooray for you!! 🙂

  5. ainsobriety says:

    I understand. I started blogging because my life without alcohol is just so much better and I wish I had the words to express it to those new to sobriety. So I try to encourage. It helps me remember what was, and what will be again if I listen to the booze voice.
    Sober is better!

  6. Ruffie says:

    Awesome post. You are spot on with the fact that we CANNOT EVER drink again!
    Yes, it’s hard! But what have we really lost? An arm? A leg? Our minds?
    I could go on but the reality is that we have lost absolutely NOTHING! Yet gained so much by sticking to our guns.
    Early days for me I know, not far from 100 now but I love the new me and I’m sticking to my new resolve. Period!
    Thank you for your encouraging words.

  7. byebyebeer says:

    I’ve followed your blog since, I’m guessing, the beginning or close to it. It’s so lovely to see the peace you’ve made or found, or however it works in sobriety. That transformation is amazing to feel and witness. Your words are inspiring. So proud to know you.

  8. So True. I wouldn’t touch drugs for fear of addiction and couldn’t understand why anyone would do that to themselves. Well, same thing happened to me just a liquid kind of drug. Just hit 63, took me a loooonnnggg time to wise up.
    Sharon

  9. A day in the life of sobriety. So much seems like the same ol’ drag, same ol’ demons. But like you, I’ll take these uneventful sober days for any of the “fun” days drinking while knowing I had to get off this ride.

  10. Lisa Neumann says:

    For what it’s worth I still want a drink sometimes too. And then I shake myself back to reality. I don’t drink. When I drink or even think about drinking I am in a bad, bad place. Best to leave the drinking to the non-alcoholics. It’s amazing to watch you grow. xox Lisa

  11. xx566819xx says:

    Beautiful post. Have just started on a similar topic if you have a moment to stop by http://soberinlondon.wordpress.com/ xx

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