8 months is drawing near (this Sunday.) I remember being at an AA meeting mid-summer last year and there was a young women who was getting her coin for 8 months. I thought to myself “WOW! I wonder if I’ll ever get there.” And here I am. At the time it seemed like an impossibility. I was probably only on day 1 or something similar at the time. Her 8 months made a way bigger impact than those in the room stating their 5 years or 20 years. Knowing she was still so newly sober was a positive for me. It didn’t change anything at the time, but I’ve thought about it ever since.
Nothing new to mention. The funeral and all that happened that day did not break me. I was on my way back to my hotel room at 8:00pm, and I was so tired the thought of drinking was VERY appealing. But I went to sleep instead. The next day at the airport (they are true triggers for this alcoholic), it was about 8:45am and I was passing the open bars/restaurants. A few short months ago, I would not have thought twice about stopping in for a bloody mary or 2. It would have sounded like a great way to start a very lazy day. I sighed a heavy sigh and just continued to a chair to read.
The desire is still there, but common sense rules with a heavy hand.
I don’t think that much about drinking any more. Well, yes I do – every day, in fact. But it’s more of a fleeting thought. . . a twinge of ‘man a beer would taste AWESOME right about now’. . . a moment of weakness that is quickly over-ridden by life. Fortunately, it’s not cyclical like it used to be. I don’t experience the high’s and low’s so much any more. It’s a pretty even keel most of the time. But I’m still consuming enough sweets (chocolate, ice cream, rice krispie treats, etc.) to keep the wolf at bay.
I haven’t seen a few of you out here in cyberspace recently. I won’t name names since you probably know who you are, but just know that I’m here if you want to text or email or talk. firstname.lastname@example.org I think about you often!
Happy Month of May 🙂