I have decided to purchase a recorder. I haven’t used one for years; hopefully, they aren’t expensive. My idea behind this is for recording my thoughts when I’m on my walks. My mind is always going full speed with different ideas and to-do lists. Generally, I forget all I’ve thought about when the walk is over! I may feel better but my retention sucks.
I did do some journaling in the past. I read that a lot of you journal in the morning which seems like such a great idea. Unfortunately, I have a hard enough time getting up just to get ready for work. What I think might work for me is using that recorder in the car, on my walks, in bed when I can’t fall asleep….. Then on the weekends I can listen to the recording and mark down in my journal what I’ve been thinking about. I want to rehear my thoughts and compile them into one spot for review.
I know I still have problems relating to alcohol that I’m not aware of yet. This is the reason, I think, that I continue to want to drink as badly as I do. I’m still depending on my will-power because I haven’t been digging into the reasons I drank in excess to begin with. (insert “see a therapist” here.)
But truthfully, I had no childhood issues (that I’m aware of,) I didn’t have alcoholic parents, I was a good student and had friends, I don’t carry resentments, I didn’t hang with the ‘wrong’ crowd. BUT I did want to be liked by my peers and drinking was my way of being cool. But, why did I feel the need to be accepted by ‘drinking’? And was I even accepted? Such a LONG LONG time ago.
My hope is that this recording idea will help me keep focused and possibly ‘hear’ things I normally would not. I don’t want to rely on my will-power any longer. I want to understand and resolve whatever issues I may have so this battle with alcohol is minimized – as much as can be.
Namaste – I’m off for a 3 day weekend 🙂