re-evaluation in progress

Okay, this sentence from my last post:

“I am pretty much certain that the chatter in my head is because I still want to drink”

No SHIT!! OF COURSE that chatter is me still wanting a drink, that’s what this is all about. What I MEANT is that I don’t think I ever truly gave up the idea of drinking. Not that I thought I would go back to it, but I never committed to it. I believe that willpower had a lot to do with me being able to abstain from drinking this whole time. Not a true, honest and heartfelt “I literally CAN’T drink anymore” commitment. I knew I needed to, but I don’t think I really wanted to, you know?

And, again, that is the problem right there. I need to re-evaluate . . . .I’ll get back to you 🙂


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7 Responses to re-evaluation in progress

  1. Jean says:

    Debbie, I quit for 4 months about 1 1/2 years ago and right around 4 months I had a lot of chatter and thinking I can moderate, I proved it. I didn’t drink for 4 months, I got this one. Well I was wrong. It took me 18 months to get back here.
    I know that you need a reason, I hope maybe you’ll look back on your blog and see all your reasons!
    Heading out, happy weekend!

  2. Oh… I struggled with that crap for a long time… But I do remember vividly the day that I just gave up the debate! Why is it always us that just think we can be ok again? If a person is allergic to nuts and is told that they can die if they eat one, do they eat one anyway? Nooo. But us? We try and try – well I did anyway!

    So, hang in there, this too will pass, things will get better, and the chatter will quiet down! Hugs.

  3. It’s the 18th. You OK?

  4. graysgrogblog says:

    You’re doing brilliantly, Debbie!
    5 months still seems a LONG way off for me ….. but folks like you will get me through!
    G x

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