Okay, this sentence from my last post:
“I am pretty much certain that the chatter in my head is because I still want to drink”
No SHIT!! OF COURSE that chatter is me still wanting a drink, that’s what this is all about. What I MEANT is that I don’t think I ever truly gave up the idea of drinking. Not that I thought I would go back to it, but I never committed to it. I believe that willpower had a lot to do with me being able to abstain from drinking this whole time. Not a true, honest and heartfelt “I literally CAN’T drink anymore” commitment. I knew I needed to, but I don’t think I really wanted to, you know?
And, again, that is the problem right there. I need to re-evaluate . . . .I’ll get back to you 🙂