re-evaluation in progress

Okay, this sentence from my last post:

“I am pretty much certain that the chatter in my head is because I still want to drink”

No SHIT!! OF COURSE that chatter is me still wanting a drink, that’s what this is all about. What I MEANT is that I don’t think I ever truly gave up the idea of drinking. Not that I thought I would go back to it, but I never committed to it. I believe that willpower had a lot to do with me being able to abstain from drinking this whole time. Not a true, honest and heartfelt “I literally CAN’T drink anymore” commitment. I knew I needed to, but I don’t think I really wanted to, you know?

And, again, that is the problem right there. I need to re-evaluate . . . .I’ll get back to you 🙂

Peace

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7 Responses to re-evaluation in progress

  1. Jean says:

    Debbie, I quit for 4 months about 1 1/2 years ago and right around 4 months I had a lot of chatter and thinking I can moderate, I proved it. I didn’t drink for 4 months, I got this one. Well I was wrong. It took me 18 months to get back here.
    I know that you need a reason, I hope maybe you’ll look back on your blog and see all your reasons!
    Heading out, happy weekend!
    Jean

  2. Oh… I struggled with that crap for a long time… But I do remember vividly the day that I just gave up the debate! Why is it always us that just think we can be ok again? If a person is allergic to nuts and is told that they can die if they eat one, do they eat one anyway? Nooo. But us? We try and try – well I did anyway!

    So, hang in there, this too will pass, things will get better, and the chatter will quiet down! Hugs.

  3. It’s the 18th. You OK?
    Sharon

  4. graysgrogblog says:

    You’re doing brilliantly, Debbie!
    5 months still seems a LONG way off for me ….. but folks like you will get me through!
    G x

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