the day after

I almost threw in the towel yesterday. I came SO close to stopping at the LQ to get a 1.5 liter bottle. Ca Rae ZZZZ 🙂 But, I made it home unscathed from my attacks. Worn and bedraggled but home. I turned on my fake fireplace, turned up the heat on the furnace, started my fish to baking and called my sister. By the time we were finished talking, the fish was done, the asparagus was steamed and Biggest Loser was on. I parked by butt, ate and watched TV with nary a care. I had food and something to occupy my brain. All was well with the world.

It’s interesting to watch BL. As we all know, losing weight has little to do with the food, per se. It’s all about coming to grips with why you eat the way you do – what causes you to eat enormous amounts of crap. A lot of what was said last night resonated with me but in the alcohol version. At first it’s harder than crap and you don’t want to do it (quit.) You whine and you cry and you get argumentative and say you just can’t do it. Then, as you exercise/don’t drink more and make it a routine, it becomes easier. Eventually you are not whining about how much you can’t do something. Instead, you find you are actually trying harder to do better because you realize it can be done. At this point you begin to look ahead and know you have the ability to become fully involved in your life. You can now do things you have never done before, or have not done in a really long time. You like yourself now, you are stronger now, you are more optimistic with a CAN DO attitude. So I may not be over weight, but I certainly have issues I need to put in the past. It’s time for me to start the forward momentum into a life beyond alcohol.

Fingers crossed that the next time Ms Crazy comes a hollerin’ for me to stop for a bottle, I can jamb a cloth down her throat 🙂
wake up and live

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6 Responses to the day after

  1. Running From the Booze says:

    You go girl!

  2. I’m so glad you turned that Wolfie away. Was there a particular trigger? X

    • Debbie says:

      No trigger. I just want to drink! If I had to pin it down, I suppose it comes back to being lonely – going home to an empty house thing. But, I’m lonely all the time so that day was no different. . . 🙂

  3. Jean says:

    So glad you got through the witching hour.

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