Fat Tire, please

Last night, or should I say yesterday afternoon, was a complete white knuckle session for about 3 hours. Really tired of obsessing about drinking. I wasn’t 99% there and ready to drink, but I was about 75% and that was scary enough. Drinking was all I could think about starting at 3:30pm. Overwhelming. I think because I have nothing to do at my office, I go into my head. And Ms Crazy is always there to greet me.

I left work at the normal 5:20pm. Caught the bus, got to my car and sat there for a second wondering what I was going to do. I wanted to drink so badly. But knew that was a stupid idea. I did need to stop at the store and get some ice cream or a candy bar or something for later in the evening. So I began with that thought. I was driving to my local quick mart place and instead of turning left, I kept going straight. I decided I just needed to eat, and I didn’t want the pork loin I had in the fridge at home. I was craving a steak but have found that’s my MO. When I really want a drink, I want a steak to go with it. It’s my “excuse” for having the drink. I drove a complete circle – well, almost a complete circle – back to an Applebee’s which is very near my bus stop. I walked in and the hostess said the usual, “How many?” and I said, “just one.” She says, “Would you like to sit in the bar area?” In my mind I was like, “HELL YEAH I want to sit in the bar area and get them pouring a Fat Tire, Brutus-sized” but knew that would be REALLY STUPID. So I said, “I would rather sit in the restaurant area if I could.” And so I did. I had raspberry lemonade, a 7 oz sirloin, and a baked potato. Of course, once I began eating I was fine. After dinner I went to the gas station next door and bought a Butterfinger for later 🙂 I’m surprised I don’t weigh a zillion pounds with as much candy as I eat, haha.

Another crisis averted, thank God. Just hoping these crises lessen. . . . .and soon.

And just for the record, I am at 49 days tomorrow 🙂 7 HUGE WEEKS!!! OMG and Friday – 50 days. I’m half way to the Challenge Goal! woot woot

happy dance

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6 Responses to Fat Tire, please

  1. Melanie says:

    Hey — You can always call! You’d better know that. May not be as dynamic and devilish as Miss C, but I can be there. Hats off to you for bravely, determinedly making it to the restaurant table and STILL not ordering that brutus. I am really VERY proud of you.

    • Debbie says:

      I know. . . but it wasn’t as bad as that last time. Rough, yes, but more manageable. If it gets really bad, you will be on speed dial. Love you.

  2. digitalgranny says:

    Woohooo way to go with 49 days and you rock.
    You did greast not taking that drink.
    Remember HALT-hungry, angry, lonely, tired are all our enemy and lead us to drink if we are not careful.
    Keep it up one day at a time.

    • Debbie says:

      Thanks! I do remember HALT. So I ate an apple about 4 and some M&Ms about 4:30 hoping it would stop the hunger. Obviously it did not! Appreciate your comments!

  3. Wow well done, hope you are feeling proud of yourself today. I find food sorts everything out too. Don’t let yourself get hungry, angry tired or lonely.

  4. Lilly says:

    That is awesome! In the past when I’ve been craving a drink and gone on those kind of autopilot missions it has been bad news. So it’s super awesome you were feeling that way but still you did not drink. Way to work that sober muscle! You’ll be at 100 before you know it. Just keep going as you are. xx

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