i celebrate in silence

I was reading Carrie On Sober‘s post today and it turned a light on for me. A little one, but one that I wanted to share. She mentions how getting sober is a personal thing and you don’t just go around telling people why you have quit drinking. I think this is mostly because some people have a tendency to alienate you once they discover you don’t imbide any longer. There are probably a number of reasons “normies” slowly and quietly go on without us, and that’s their choice. I’m okay with that.

What bugs me is, well, take today for instance. I have 23 days now under my belt. I want to jump on facebook and let everyone know that I have made it 23 days. That’s huge in my book. I want to tell everyone here at work so that they know what I’ve had to deal with these past 3+ weeks. Maybe get a good ol’ pat on the back or something.

But no. We don’t do that because of the social stigma attached to being an “alcoholic”. (Especially at work) Folks have a tendency to look down on us like we have no will power or are not really trying hard enough. Or they think “It’s just not that difficult to stop drinking so why are you making it so hard?” I can’t say exactly what must be going on in their minds. But, it sure is hard to show the happiness, gratification and joy you feel when you fear the looks on their faces. Am I right?

It’s just frustrating. I guess that’s why it’s so nice to have AA (if that’s your thing) or have friends who understand, either here in our sobersphere or close friends in your real world. Because you can jump up and down, do a happy dance, and feel good about yourself. And they are right there with you.

happy dance

I would like everyone to know what I’m doing. Especially those I’ve known for many years. But I don’t want them to look at me differently, I am who I’ve always been. Don’t label me or categorize me.

It’s just sad, is all.

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4 Responses to i celebrate in silence

  1. Off-Dry says:

    I know exactly what you mean–I’ve also wanted to shout it from the rooftops from time to time, especially when I hit 30 and 100 days. Sobriety seems more and more like *achieving* something vs just correcting a defect, and I want to brag a little! I’ve held back so far on any kind of grand announcement, but I have told a handful of friends and have found people to be *much* more supportive and cool about it than I expected–nonchalant at worst and a cheer squad at best. Maybe someone will pleasantly surprise you like that too. And yay for your 23 days!

  2. jamilynaz says:

    Congratulations on 23 days! In my book, every day sober is a miracle.
    I was pretty close-mouthed about my sobriety at first because I was afraid of what people would think. Now, I am really open about it, and it’s very liberating. I find that most people are very supportive and are genuinely happy that I am on a better path. There are those few, like one coworker that I have, that just don’t get it. I chalk it up to them just not understanding alcoholism and recovery. I let it go. Their opinions don’t matter.
    Keep up your good work!

  3. There are times I am so proud and almost smug about this new life of mine! I wish I could be more open. But we do the best we can. I would love to have real sober friends…maybe one day.

  4. Scarlett says:

    I sure do celebrate you, Dee! Sending you many kudos and keep on keeping on. 🙂

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