I was reading Carrie On Sober‘s post today and it turned a light on for me. A little one, but one that I wanted to share. She mentions how getting sober is a personal thing and you don’t just go around telling people why you have quit drinking. I think this is mostly because some people have a tendency to alienate you once they discover you don’t imbide any longer. There are probably a number of reasons “normies” slowly and quietly go on without us, and that’s their choice. I’m okay with that.
What bugs me is, well, take today for instance. I have 23 days now under my belt. I want to jump on facebook and let everyone know that I have made it 23 days. That’s huge in my book. I want to tell everyone here at work so that they know what I’ve had to deal with these past 3+ weeks. Maybe get a good ol’ pat on the back or something.
But no. We don’t do that because of the social stigma attached to being an “alcoholic”. (Especially at work) Folks have a tendency to look down on us like we have no will power or are not really trying hard enough. Or they think “It’s just not that difficult to stop drinking so why are you making it so hard?” I can’t say exactly what must be going on in their minds. But, it sure is hard to show the happiness, gratification and joy you feel when you fear the looks on their faces. Am I right?
It’s just frustrating. I guess that’s why it’s so nice to have AA (if that’s your thing) or have friends who understand, either here in our sobersphere or close friends in your real world. Because you can jump up and down, do a happy dance, and feel good about yourself. And they are right there with you.
I would like everyone to know what I’m doing. Especially those I’ve known for many years. But I don’t want them to look at me differently, I am who I’ve always been. Don’t label me or categorize me.
It’s just sad, is all.