Yes, I am still here. Silently involved in the ‘community’ by reading everyone’s posts daily. I read them in hopes of gleaning new ways to combat this. . . . disease. I really hate calling alcoholism a disease. A disease is cholera or leprosy. I’m not fond of the word addiction either, but I’ll use that word instead. I continue to try to find ways that work for me in combating this . . . addiction.
I know where it comes from. I know why I drink. I also know how to fight it and win. I just don’t know if I have the strength, fortitude, will, desire. My old habits, life style, routines, whatever, make it VERY hard to move away from what I’ve created as my “normal”, the “familiar”. Even if that normalcy is not a good thing.
For me, it truly is a dig in the heels, face the fear and just get out there movement. Never turning back to what I falsely believe is my safety zone. That safety zone is no longer safe. It’s completely detrimental to my well-being. It was created by fear. My new zone must be created with humility and love.
While reading Mental Rollercoaster, she mentioned she wanted to go camping to get away from it all for a bit. I haven’t been camping in a few years and really miss it. It sounds like it would be so peaceful and rejuvenating. Then it occurs to me that maybe I can get out there and do a version of the same thing. (Unfortunately I don’t have a camping location I am comfortable with). But, there is a new hike I want to try. Going by myself in the cool of the morning. A way to just quiet the mind and escape for a bit.