putting my sober car back in D

Well, I knew it was going to happen. Even YOU probably knew it was going to happen. I could have focused, prayed, gone straight home, but I opted not to. I didn’t even put up a fight. I didn’t even think about putting up a fight. I enjoyed my drinks and dinner at the restaurant, and I enjoyed my box of wine when I got home. At least I did up until 4:00am this morning when I woke with a very dry mouth, a pounding headache and dying of thirst. AND more bites to the SAME side of my face.

But I’m okay with it all. (Even if the left side of my face IS full of red bumps and ugliness under a bandaid :)) No berating myself, no anger that I let myself down. I’m not counting the days so I don’t feel as though I’m starting all over again. Last night was, well, last night. I am not planning to continue the binge. I guess I think of it like being on a diet. I ate my bag of cookies, oops, but today is another day and the cookies are gone 🙂 The old “dust myself off and get back on the horse” scenario. None of this day 1 business again. That’s just down right depressing, and I’m not going there. It’s just not for me.

horse

I feel like shit, but I feel really good. Go figure.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to putting my sober car back in D

  1. Pip says:

    I’ve just begun again for the upteenth time after a few weeks off the wagon, and I think a small slip like yours isn’t worthy of a complete restart, either. The numbers just get in the way sometimes! Drive on. 😉

    • Debbie says:

      My hope is that it was just a one nighter. If so, than I will think of it as just a bump in the road. If it turns into a binge then, yes a day 1 is definitely in the picture. But I am 99% confident it was just a bump 🙂 Good luck to you and congrats on hopping back on!

      • Pip says:

        We can do this. 🙂 I’m reading a book called Mindful Recovery that has some really, really good stuff in it and they mention writing down *why* we want to stop and pulling the list out every time we get the urge. I’m going to write mine today.

  2. Good attitude. Forward.

  3. whinelessinwashington says:

    You can DO IT! Trust me, I know. I am there. Back in drive today (ironically with a bug bite on my left cheek, too! No shit!) and WE CAN DO IT! Mine turned into a few weeks. It was harder to turn it off….so you’re smart to get in gear sooner than I did!!!!!!
    Good luck, girl!

    • Debbie says:

      Thanks It was a few weeks binge, then I got a handle in it and did 2 weeks sober; had my one night and am back on. Shew, what a roller coaster. Feeling good today – day 3. (damn bugs)

      • whinelessinwashington says:

        Roller coaster is right. I’m hoping once the brakes are on for awhile, we just get out of the god damn car forever. We can do it. Life can be just as thrilling without all that!!

  4. Pingback: pushing past the fear | Dangling on the edge

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s