first day

I woke up this morning (thank God :)) and made the decision that today is the day. Not because of any epiphany or light bulb moment, but because I have to. It’s not a question of should I, can I, will I. It’s not even a question. It’s a statement of fact. It’s a must. My physical body can no longer take the abuse. I can feel it trying to fight back and it’s a losing battle, unless I stop drinking.

It’s time I find a life, my life. And begin living it. All of it, good and bad.

No more counting days. My only goal is getting through today and tonight and waking up sober tomorrow. Then, tomorrow I’ll do it again. I’m still with the 100 day challenge, but I’ll let Belle be my time keeper.

Time to start enjoying the simple, happy pleasures again.

Time to start enjoying the simple, happy pleasures again.

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7 Responses to first day

  1. Cricket says:

    I’m trying not to count days, too…it seems to get things stuck in my head for some reason.

    Go, you!!!!

    • Debbie says:

      Last time I freaked out when I was getting close to 50 days knowing I had 50 more to get to 100 afraid the whole time that I would not make it. Figured I’d best just stay focused on the one day and the one day only. THanks for the post!

  2. Congratulations! For some people it is a light bulb moment, but I tend to believe it’s a conscious decision to stop. It’s hard as hell, but it’s like wishing to be thinner – it’ll never happen until you stop wishing and start doing. You deserve a lot of credit for this. Be proud!

    • Debbie says:

      THanks! When I quit smoking (22 years ago), I just smoked the last in a pack at about 10:30am one day and say, that’s it. I had tried a zillion times before by thinking I had to and I should. That one day, it was just “I’m done.” Here’s hoping the same holds true now.

  3. Pingback: Excellent Idea! | Cricket's Sobriety Blog

  4. Lisa Neumann says:

    You’ve been in my heart these past days. Know that you are loved and many are pulling for you. Wish I had some incredible words of wisdom, but I don’t. Just “feel” whatever shows up. It won’t feel good, but at least you’re feeling it and can move on. xox Lisa

    ps you on twitter? send my your twitter name. many great people going thru the same things as you right now … a lot of creeps too but we try and avoid those folks (I say that in the most loving way)

  5. Lisa Neumann says:

    Me … again …. you came across my mind and I wanted to send some love. (ps. I don’t care what day you’re on. just that you’re here today)

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