you’re so vain

Wow, these last 2 weeks have been really rough. When we fall, we fall hard, huh? I haven’t been doing binges or all nighters, but just enough so I wake up feeling ‘unhealthy’ in the mornings. Some mornings come with headaches, some just a really stiff and sore neck, some just really tired. I’ve had something to drink every single night but 2 since I toppled.

Last night I stopped to have a drink and I didn’t even want it. My stomach was telling me no and my heart was pleading with me to just go home, but my monkey mind was laughing all the way to the bar. I haven’t wanted to drink for a few days now, but it doesn’t seem to matter. The switch is on, Ms. Crazy has a solid grip on my common sense, and I just can’t seem to stop myself.

Waking up and seeing my tired face in the mirror is just such a sad sight. And of course, my resolve is 100% in the mornings. “Today is the day” kind of attitude. Feeling positive and all that crap. I swear that I don’t want to look like a haggered old woman any longer but yet, the next morning I stare at that same damn face. And that face is getting older by the day. Ah, vanity. If only I could be vain enough so I would stop drinking. . .

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to you’re so vain

  1. Lilly says:

    Oh I’m sorry to hear this (((hugs))) but thanks for posting as it’s just another good reminder for us all how it’s easier to stay ON the train than get back on it. But you can do this – you’ve done it before. You just need to make a plan, set a date, dig your heels in again. And in the meantime, what are the advantages of drinking over not drinking? Are you finding any? Is it making you happy? xx

  2. fern says:

    You are not alone. I’ve got the same “monkey mind” that I can’t switch off now that it’s back on. I’m sending empathy your way!

  3. Debbie says:

    Thanks, Fern. I’m with you 100%. Let’s do this together 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s