thoughts for the day

I think one of the reasons it’s so difficult to come out and tell friends and family you are an alcoholic is that if they are not one themselves, they really do find it hard to understand why we do what we do. And I have a hard time explaining it. How do you describe the overwhelming ‘need’ (and I hate using that word)? How do you explain that once you ‘fall’ it takes regrouping and time to get back up. You don’t wake up the next morning dusting yourself off, say “damn it” and begin the quest all over again. It doesn’t work that way (at least for me), but how do I explain this so that it makes sense to those who don’t have a clue what that feels like? If only it was only simple and easy, right?

And the things we do while drinking. We are all intelligent people. None of us wants to hurt any one or say things we don’t mean. We’ve all set rules for ourselves knowing what could happen. Hoping we follow those rules we have set for ourselves. Ms Crazy doesn’t give a shit about my ‘rules’. All she wants is more alcohol no matter the consequences. Again, we are sane, rational human beings, so how do we express these feelings we have to those who just don’t understand?

In short, it would be so much easier not to tell friends and family (who are able to drink in moderation) anything. Sometimes I just don’t want to try to explain and let them remain ignorant. But that’s not right. I truly want them to ‘get it’.

Fortunately, there is you. Sharing our stories, our fears, our falls with kindred fellows. I truly am grateful every day that I have all of you out there in the sobersphere.

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6 Responses to thoughts for the day

  1. Maya June says:

    I am struggling with the same issues. I am a teacher (um, teachers, many anyhow, like to drink) and so I am able to hide out right now but as soon as I return to school, I know I am going to have to endure suggestions of wine at the end of the day, invitations to happy hour and social events. I have pulled a couple of really close friends into the fold but I wish (in some ways) I could just pretend everything is normal with everyone else. I have considered a humorous email to several friends but… It just seems so… I don’t know… messy? My mother in law, a three glass of wine per night kinda gal, knows we quit drinking, but I am terrified to talk to her. They have agreed to come and spend Thanksgiving with us but I need at least this 1st one to be dry. I am afraid she and my father on law will either a) ignore my wishes or b) cancel the trip altogether. Hang in there! Thanks for the post.

    • Debbie says:

      THanks for sharing, Maya June! As to Thanksgiving, maybe by then you’ll have enough days under your belt to not worry about it! Wishing you the best and thanks for reading. Debbie

  2. Cricket says:

    Oh, I LOVE this!!!!

    For me, the hardest part is comments like, “well, just make the decision and stick with it” or ones similar to it. As if it’s that simple. They truly don’t get it and part of me, while being annoyed with the triteness of the comments, is happy that they never will because that means they don’t have this addiction. Lucky people.

  3. Ann Marquez says:

    30 years ago or so, I took of those smoking cessation classes and the directors (a husband and wife team) told us how – although they had never smoked – they could sympathize with our struggle because they were addicted to ice cream… ICE CREAM … REALLY??? I’ll never forget that. But I totally understand what you are saying, really.

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