food……..i need food

painting-flowers-cropEver since Friday night and my art workshop, it has been rough going. My afternoons are spent with thoughts of wine. I love the term Running on Sober uses – Monkey Mind -for those voices in your head – my Ms Crazy, Belle’s Wolfie – we all have a name for it. Monkey chatter works also!! Seems once she reared her ugly head, I haven’t been able to quiet her down since.

I am currently looking for a home to purchase. It hasn’t become stessful yet. I’m just at the beginning of the search. But holy crap, the houses are flying off the racks around here. One day they are active, I get excited to go see it; the next, they are under contract. It is truly a sellers market and that sucks for me. I was hoping for some wiggle room in my negotiations, but that’s not going to happen.

Any hoo, yesterday evening (Monday), I was hungry (bad sign). It was just after work and we had 5 houses to look at. I wanted a drink from the moment I got off the bus. Really wanted a drink. After the 2nd house, we traveled about 25 minutes to our next location. All the way, my only thoughts were how much I wanted a drink right then. I thought about what it would be like if I were still drinking. Well, first, I probably would have prepared for the event and put wine in a to-go type cup so I had something handy. This would help to calm down the immediate need for sure. When we finished the house hunt, I would properly buy my bottle and head home. Needless to day, I behaved. I really thought things through. I knew I wanted to drink because I hadn’t eaten anything. I also had no water in the car to quench my dehydration. Fortunately, these are all signs I know to look for and pay attention to. I understood my reasons for wanting that drink. I am aware that I was totally NOT as prepared for the evening as I should have been. I knew that once I stopped for food, I would be okay. It was just a long time before I got to eat anything.

House viewing was over by 8:30pm. I was starved. I noticed EVERY single bar and LQ on the way home. And the way home was MILES away, literally. She was showing me properties about 15 (interstate) miles from the city.

So as I closed in on my house, I hit the Taco Bell just down the street. I made it home without a “beverage” purchase from any of the liquor stores I saw along the way. “Taco Bell?” you murmer under your breath. “Yes, Taco Bell.” I was starving, had nothing quick to fix at home and the other choices on this particular day disgusted me MORE. Thank you very much 🙂 Plus I got their cinnamon twists which were perfect for my after dinner sweet treat.

Day 29

(Sweet – my milestone Widget says ~ at this moment ~ 9 hours to go to 30 days! So frickin’ awesome!)

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9 Responses to food……..i need food

  1. tina5458 says:

    If you have never heard this use HALT…never let yourself get to H-ungry to A-ngry to L-onely or T-ired. CONGRATS on another day sober.

  2. Oooh Taco Bell… I love their quesadillas and those cinnamon things are so good! Better to eat than drink, it’s ok! Good for you for thinking through the drinking process and realizing that your crazy monkey mind was telling you lies. Way to go!

    Gurl, get you a big water bottle to carry around with you! Dehydration is not good! And carry some snacks in your purse too just in case. Ditto to HALT above!

    You should be at 30 now right? Huge congrats!!!! That’s a long damn time! Don’t quit now!!

    • Debbie says:

      Every now and then I do crave me some Taco Bell 🙂 Snacks in the purse is a great idea. Not having water was just dumb especially in the 99 degree heat we were having. and yes TODAY IS DAY 30. WUT WUT 🙂 It is a REALLY LONG time !!

  3. Ps- I love your painting 🙂

  4. byebyebeer says:

    Is that your painting? It’s beautiful! Hunger and thirst are two of the worst and easiest to cure triggers. It’s harder to choose something healthy, but seriously, sometimes life calls for Taco Bell. You made me crave it (better that than beer!). Congratulations on what now must be 30 days!!

    • Debbie says:

      Ha! THanks for the “like” on the painting. I feel like my inner 2nd grader did that one. I was in such a rush to get out of there! So excited to finally be at 30 days. Last night was REALLY a white knuckle night.

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