Why is it that my resolve to stop drinking is SO strong in the morning/early afternoon hours? I feel normal. I feel in control. I feel strong. I know that today is the day I can quit. I see no reason why I won’t be able to quit today and forever. I know this deep down. I look at the goals I’ve set and see no reason why I can’t accomplish them. I even make more goals. I feel capable. I see a future with no alcohol.
Then, late afternoon hits like a brick. All I do from that point forward is think about having a drink. I slowly convince myself why I need to get a drink. It mostly revolves around dinner. If I have nothing “appealing” to eat for dinner (which is pretty much all the time), I will go out to eat. (I hate to cook.) And going out to eat is synonymous with drinking. Maybe I could hire a cook. Knowing dinner is waiting for me, and I don’t have to prepare it, would make a huge difference. Well, it’s a thought anyway. A bigger refrigerator would help.
I have a half marathon in less than 5 weeks. I am so not ready. My rib injury has kept me from jogging since my 5k. I realize I can still go to the gym and work out other parts of my body. I could work out on the elliptical or stairs……just lethargic and usually drinking instead.
A vicious cycle.