Ms. Crazy vs. Ms. Sensible

3649246411_6e66e3101e_oI did my run yesterday, but oh my . . . very sluggish and I started getting a migraine. I went about 3.5 miles but did a run/walk thing. After recovery, about an hour and a half later, I did some errands, some laundry and read a book for my book club.

At about 5:30pm, my switch turned itself on. Totally involuntary on my part. I was reading when it just clicked. I was hungry and didn’t want to cook the fish I had set out for dinner. My alcoholic brain, we’ll call her “Crazy”, decided I wanted a buffalo chicken salad from a local pub down the road. NO, the nonalcoholic side of my brain says. We’ll call her “Sensible”. But what harm will it do? Crazy questions. And I’m hungry, Crazy argues. Sensible says, You can make the fish and sweet potatoes for dinner. It will only take about 1/2 hour tops, Sensible states. But doesn’t a beer and yummy salad sound so much better? Crazy asks. Besides, a beer before the salad arrives will do no harm, Crazy pushes.

I give in. Crazy wins 😦 And of course, Crazy convinces me that a beer during the meal is smashing idea. Now, that shot of tequila was TOTALLY Crazy paying absolutely no attention to Sensible. Actually, Sensible has been overtaken by Crazy and no longer exists.

Dinner is done. Okay, one more beer before I head home, Crazy announces. I can just barely hear Sensible say, bad idea, from the far back recesses of my mind. And, Crazy wins again. I drink 1/2 of it and leave the rest. Truly, I left half a glass. For some reason, I was feeling really full. On a positive note, I did NOT stop at the LQ on the way home.

Holy crap. . . You all have no idea how hard this is for me. Telling you how stupid I can be. Opening up like this is really super embarrassing and humiliating, but I think I have to do this to move forward. I’m so sorry.

After work, I am going to the gym to get in some laps. And maybe sweat off some of the toxins. . .

Day 1

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2 Responses to Ms. Crazy vs. Ms. Sensible

  1. Ann Marquez says:

    Feels weird to click ‘like’ when you are struggling, but you know that each click is a click of support. Wish I could wave a magic wand for you and make it all better. 😦 Hang in there, you’ll find your way. 😉

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