Learned something last night. Just being sober is not the end all, be all. You would think that getting sober is all it takes. Like quitting smoking. When you quit, the nicotine in your system gradually goes away. The cravings diminish and you are all better. Done. Not quite like that with alcohol. We can be sober, but if that’s all we are, then we won’t be sober for long. Of course, being sober is a good thing no matter the duration. With a clear head, we are able to focus. It helps to get us on the right path. It gives us time to reflect, meditate, and begin to understand why it is we started all this in the first place. Or, for some, just knowing this is not where we want to be tomorrow and discovering how to make it right. But chances are, it’s just not going to last. To make it stick, something else needs to happen.
That was an important lesson for me to hear. I went to AA believing that all I had to do was stay sober. Oh, no. There is so much more. I heard from people that had been 5 and 8 years sober then turned around and had a drink. One drink. They experienced 5 more years of insanity before they quit again. They said this last time around for them was totally different. They finally surrendered and took God or their higher power into their lives and hearts.
So now I see that it’s the surrendering of myself that is a major step to success. Admitting that I cannot do this alone. Supportive friends and family are awesome, but I need to concede to the PTB (powers that be.) Literally, I need to give up the struggle for control over alcohol. I need to be a loser. Admit I am lost. I will need more than my strength of will and determination to see this through.
Let go, Let God